Writing this post lays heavy in my heart after hearing about the catastrophic event of a different US Warship colliding with a Japanese ship overseas, killing 7 sailors :( Feel free to read further here..
Reading the news on terrible things happening throughout the world always leaves a bad taste, you shake your head and feel sorrow and sympathy for those involved, but then go about every day life. Then something happens closer, and closer to home.. as in this event. It is devastating to think "what if" and how so many families, especially those of the deceased, are shattered. I can't imagine..
As most of you know, Ryan, my husband, has left for deployment and is currently out there somewhere. Knowing terrible things are happening as we speak, with him in the midst, leaves me sick to my stomach 99% of the time. For my other Navy wives and families out there, I wanted to share with you emotions, feelings, and "stages" I, as well as my other close Navy-wife friends in the same position, go through when sending your loved ones off for deployment.
For those of you who know me, I am NOT an emotional person; as in I don't cry in romantic movies or get worked up about the Navy lifestyle, I embrace it! But seriously a week before Ryan was going on deployment, I cried over EVERYTHING. Not like trickle of a tear or two, like straight bawled my eyes out.. over how Ryan made shrimp one night, and that I ran out of shampoo (?!??) Ryan I don't think has seen me cry very many times so he was like wtf is happening haha (jk) but it was weird. I couldn't control myself and I think everything just poured out at once.
After all the tears came crashing out, I felt myself getting pretty numb. Whenever someone would ask, I'd be like yeah I'll be ok! It will be fine. I didn't really want to think about it anymore and kind of just ready for deployment day to be here, so it could start, and he would be one day closer to being home. Kind of in zombie-fast-forward mode.
Definitely my least favorite stage of going through deployment with your partner. I felt like I was taking everything out on Ryan for no reason other than frustration that I had no control over anything. It's hard when you're a control freak like I am! (and even if you're not) But it's like you are pushing them away because you know what's coming.. not cool and I tried to recognize it as much as possible and just enjoy the time together we did have.
The sooner, the better. It is what it is and all you can do is be accepting, proud, encouraging, and loving. Take all the time together in and remember all the good memories. Another thing I have to do to get through deployment.. Plan trips! Visit your friends as much as you can // while // if you can and a post-deployment trip for you guys to take when they get back.. something to look forward to is key. It will be over in no time and soon back in each other's arms.